A Thunderstorm Without Rain
by islandgirl123
Summary: I am re-writing this story. An alternative ending to 'Freedom' What if things didn't go as planned? What if Meredith's desicion would make things worse? MerMark AU. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm re-writing this whole story. I'll have more chapters up tomorrow. Please read and review!

Summary: An alternative ending to "freedom". What if things didn't go as planned? What if Meredith's decision cause more trouble, for both her and her new found family? And what would she do if all the people she needed the most are miles away? Meredith and Mark work together to get through all those challenges they face and make the most of their lives while they still can.

Pairings: Mer/Mark, others are undecided.  
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!

MEREDITH sighed a breath of relief; they had finally managed to save one patient, but all together killed twelve. She didn't want to live like that, like she didn't want to live seeing Derek and Rose everyday living in their happy dream land.

"Finally." She sighed to herself, she looked at the doe-eyed person beside her and formed a smug grin. When everyone thought that she wouldn't, no couldn't, be able to stay strong, she proved them all wrong. "I should go tell Derek." Meredith smiled politely, on the inside cheering on their victory.

Her companion was boiling inside, her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was going to tell him about their medical breakthrough and she didn't know how he would react. Of course Rose trusted Derek, she just didn't trust him with Meredith.

"Actually, you should go rest. Maybe it's best that I tell Derek, he's my boyfriend after all." She smirked.

"Oh okay." She sighed clearly disappointed but she half agreed with Rose, she didn't know what would happen if they were alone together, celebrating.

Rose left the room but not without sending a subtle glare Meredith's way.

Meredith continued fixing the papers up in a neat order. She heard a loud knock on the door. "Come in" She said quietly.

Olivia hesitantly walked in the door. She nodded to the young doctor and offered a smile. She instantly felt guilty, the last thing she wanted was to ruin the petite doctor's good day but noticing the dark gray circles under her eyes, her day was far from good.

"Yes?" Meredith said, a bit impatiently.

"The chief would like to see you."

"Oh okay. Would you mind finishing this up for me? I would really appreciate it."

"Sure, no problem. Hey, just a little heads up. The chief was stressed when he asked for you, and he has some company."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Olivia." said Meredith

____________________________________

Derek found out about their success through the nurses charts which was ssubmitted to him earlier on. He smiled and turned around to look for Meredith, instead he found an eager Rose smiling up at him.

"Hey sweetie, you know?" Rose smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I was just headed out to find Meredith." He said tiredly.

Rose couldn't believe it. What did Grey have that she didn't? She didn't know why men cared about her so much. She didn't know why everyone was so in love with her that they were so blinded about the other women in their lives. Sure she had looks, but Derek was anything but superficial.

"I just wanted to congratulate her." He said quickly.

"What for? She didn't do anything but assist you in your surgeries, an intern could do that." She complained.

"I guess so, but it was her idea. She should receive some credit too. Weren't you with her? Do you know where she might have gone?"

"She said she went home. She sounded incredibly tired." Rose quickly lied. She dreaded that Derek would chose Meredith over herself.

"I'll go check up on her, she didn't feel good today. I just want to make sure that she's doing okay."

"Unbelievable."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I'm your girlfriend! I know your still in love with her, but I want to make this relationship work, okay? Firstly, I don't want you thinking of Meredith Grey when your talking to me! Secondly, I don't want you to think of Meredith Grey when we're having sex! Much less moan about her, that is one thing that no woman wants to ever hear. Her boyfriend screaming out the wrong name while in mid-orgasm." She hissed.

"I-i didn't mean to..." He said apologetically.

"What is it with Meredith Grey? How come men can't even control themselves to get enough of her, even though they're obviously commited to another person!? She's not all that special anyways, she's just ORDINARY! Her looks aren't even to compare to Dr. Stevens, or the confidence of Dr. Yang. Why her? Why do all men end up falling in love with her? I heard from all the nurses that when you were still with your wife, she was with a different man every night! So is that what men look in a woman? She has to be a slut and cater to your every needs?"

"What did you just say?" Derek felt like hitting her, but he was raised to respect woman. But this monster, this beast was making it incredibly hard for him to stay calm.

"I said she was a slut and a home wrecker. In fact, once a dirty mistress, she'll always be a dirty mistress. Nothing you can do to change that, Derek. She'll always be attached to her own kind, like right now!" Rose's eyes were stinging, tears threatening to fall.

"Don't you dare Rose! You hardly know her! You don't even know the first thing about her, she's special because she's not clingy, or pushy. She's just there! She's not superficial or a golddigger! And much less a slut! I am to blame because of her damage. It's my fault."

"I've heard a lot about her. She's not the little perfect girl you think she is Derek." Rose glared.

"I'm not forcing her to change! She's perfect just the way she is! You have no right to treat her that way."

"No she's not. There's a lot of things you don't know about her Derek."

"Then we'll get back together and I'll learn! We have a lot of time Rose."

"What do you mean by that?" Rose said, confused.

"We're over Rose. Done. I don't want to see you anymore. You don't matter now."

"Fine. No girl wants to be seen dating a man obviously hung-up on his ex-girlfriend." She said rushing out. Tears already falling.

_In fact, once a dirty mistress, she'll always be a dirty mistress. Nothing you can do to change that, Derek. She'll always be attached to her own kind, like right now _Her words stayed inside his mind. He couldn't imagine what she meant by that, but he aimed to find out.

___________________________________

Meredith walked into his office. True to her word, the chief was not alone. He had a sad expression on his face, but the rest had seriousness and no concern at all.

"You wanted to see me, chief?" Meredith asked observing the people around her.

"Dr. Grey, this is Mr. Cole" He pointed to a thin man in a suit sitting on his leather couch. He appeared to have no care for the doctor, but instead was looking at pictures in Richard's glass case. "And that's Mr. Gregory." He said pointing over to a sad, scary man standing up. He was tall and frail. He looked about 50 years old.

"Hello Dr. Grey. Under the circumstances, I don't think it's appropriate to say it's nice to meet you." Gregory said harshly.

Meredith nodded in reply and the chief motioned her to sit down.

They talked and the next thing she knew, her eyes brimmed with tears.

__________________________________

She went home with him, with him of all people!

"Are you okay, Mer?" The man asked sadly caressing her cheek softly with his thumb.

"No. I'm not okay Mark." She screamed. She recalled all the things that happened earlier and she could still remember the pain in the chief's eyes, and the coldness in the others.

_" You wanted to see me chief?" Meredith asked, her eyes filled with concern._

_"Dr. Torres told me you performed an unauthorized surgery with Dr. Shepherd today."_

_"But we saved her life! Me and De- Dr. Shepherd pulled through! If anything you should be congratulating me." She protested. Richard looked at her with stern eyes, meaning to say her arrogance was enough._

_"I know you saved her life, and her family is forever grateful" Cole said, finally speaking up. "But you were supposed to do one surgery, not two. Am I correct?"_

_"But Sir!" Meredith argued._

_"Do not fight with me Dr. Grey! You have no power over me and my partner what so ever, do you understand me?" He said coldly._

_Meredith felt her eyes sting. She looked up at him and frowned. It took willpower to control herself from not spitting in his face._

_"Are we clear?" He said angrily once more._

_"I am not arguing. I am just saying, wouldn't they have died either way?" She said with a strong expression._

_"How many patients died, they could have had a few more months to live. How many died, ten?"_

_"Twelve." Meredith corrected with a gloomy expression._

_"Exactly. This clinical trial was a mistake, did you know that what you were doing is considered an illegal surgery?"_

_"No sir. At least now we know that it works!" Meredith screamed._

_"Dr. Grey." The chief demanded. She quickly quieted._

_"I cannot believe this Richard. You have to demand the attention of this mere intern for her behavior?"_

_"Resident." Meredith corrected coldly._

_"And you let her pass?!" He scoffed. "I cannot believe the horrible job you are doing here Richard. You aren't what you used to be."_

_Meredith knew what she had to do, but she couldn't bring herself to it._

_"What do you suppose he do Jeffrey?" Gregory asked his partner smirking at Meredith._

_"Let go of the trouble maker."_

_"WHAT?" Meredith exclaimed._

_"Or we rethink your position as chief of this hospital, Richard."_

_"That's blackmail!" Meredith argued._

_"Grey." He warned._

_"It's compromise. He can't fire the child of his ex-lover, then he can't be a chief of the surgical floor of his hospital."_

_"This can't be happening." Meredith said, reasting her head in her hands._

_"Both him and Dr. Shepherd, Grey. Decide right now."_

_"I'll quit!" Meredith muttured._

_"What was that?"_

_"I give up, okay? You got me! I'll leave the next day."_

_"Thank yo Dr. Grey. Maybe you weren't such a bad chief after all. They smirked and left the room._

_Meredith saw herself crying and strong arms trying to comfort her._

Meredith looked at the man beside her. He was clearly unshaken by these things, or maybe that was how he liked it to look like. She had got involved with him in the past two weeks. She was aware that he still was with Callie Torres at that moment, but she just used him for a reliever. He generously obliged. He tried not to care that she was Derek's ex-girlfriend, but everytime he would touch her, he believed it was all worth it. She couldn't believe that he agreed to their arrangement on ther drunken meeting a few weeks earlier at Joe's.

Maybe the Mark Sloan with Addison hasn't changed at all. He didn't care what others thought. He didn't listen to the gossip and rumors running around him. Meredith didn't know what she felt about him, but her heart beats faster and faster the moment she feels his breath on her warm skin.

"Mark?"

"Yes, Meredith?"

"Why are you doing this for me? Why are you giving everything up for me?"

"Don't think so ill of yourself Grey. I'm doing this because I know your going to be an extraordinary surgeon no matter who stops you, you just need a chance." Mark smiled.

"Oh. Thank you for everything."

"And their was another reason." He smirked.

"What was that?" Meredith smiled.

"Seattle babes are cute but not as much as New York ones." Meredith laughed at him and hit his arm lightly. He knew how to make her feel better.

_"I went out to look for some people that could help you find a job in New York. Fortunately, Dr. Sloan has some distinct connections." Dr. Webber said sadly._

_"Thanks Mark." Meredith smiled gratefully._

_"It's no problem Grey." He said returning the same smile._

_"Meredith?" The chief said sadly._

_"Yes, chief?"_

_"Promise me one thing. Don't ever... EVER... do that again you hear me? Don't doubt what your superior says, because it all ends up to them."_

_"I promise."_

_"I'm incredibly sorry. I was looking forward to working with you this year. But Meredith? Don't stop working as hard as you do now just because you haven't adapted yet. Okay?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I believe in you Grey. But I can't help but say I am incredibly disappointed with you."_

_"I know. I'm disappointed in myself."_

_"Just pack a suitcase tonight, and come back next week to sign a few papers about your resignation."_

_"Yes, sir." She said. Mark wrapped his arms around the blonde intern. She rested her small head on his chest and let the tears fall swiftly._

Meredith invited Mark into her room. She was probably the first one home at the moment. Her suspicions were proven true when she saw that all the lights were off.

She kicked off her shoes and went into the bathroom. She sat in the corner of their shower and opened the faucet. Then, she felt every emotion rush through her. Anger, sadness, guilt, regret and a lot more. She felt thankful that someone was there to pick her up when she needed them the most.

She heard the door creak open but didn't look up, but she felt strong muscular arms carry her and slowly take of her clothes. He dried every inch of her body with the now wet towel and started to dress her once more. Meredith felt that she slowly floated in and out of conciousness until her head landed on the pillow.

Mark crept up beside her and burried his face in her lavender-scented hair and sighed. He too soon fell fast asleep.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Derek pounded heavily on her door. He noticed her car and an unfamiliar car in their driveway. He knocked one two and three times. Still no answer, he decided to go and get the key under their mat. It was predictable for Meredith to do that. He slowly unlocked the door and peeked inside. Complete silence. He slipped off his shoes and made his way up to her room, a journey he memorized by heart.

He found her fast asleep and knelt down beside her. He gently stroked her cheek and started whispering in her ear.

She opened her eyes and found Derek beside her and he smiled. She would have returned the smile but a horrible memory had come into her mind.

_Mark. _

"Hey." Derek smiled at her.

"You have to leave." She said quickly.

"What? Why? Mer, I just wanted to congratulate you." He said reassuringly.

"No. I'm serious. You have to go Derek. Now." Her eyes were filled with panic, and his with concern.

"What's wrong?"

Suddenly the bathroom door opened and stepped out Mark, only in a towel. Of course, Derek jumped up and stared disbelievingly at both of them.

"Mer. Explain this to me, please." He said angrily, glaring at a half-naked Mark.

"I can't." Meredith said ashamed.

"Oh my God." Derek put his hands on his head and sighed. "I cannot believe you two! This is the worst form of betrayal."

"What?! You expected her to wait for you, once you felt that the time to leave the nurse was right? You're the one that's unbelievable Derek." Mark shouted, coming to Meredith's defense.

Derek couldn't answer him but of course he expected her to wait, he always imagined the two of them together. "I knew she would move on!" He lied. "I just didn't know it was going to be with the person that ruined my marriage!"

"So what? You expected her to come to you and tell you who she was sleeping with?" Mark glared.

"No! I just expected her to be smarter than that!"

"So what, are you calling me dumb?" Meredith said, finally speaking up.

"Well yeah, you know what his reputation is, Mer! He's just going to hurt you."

"He can't hurt me more than you did, Derek." She hissed. "Don't point fingers, you should know that three fingers are directed at yourself."

Derek had enough, he stepped forward and lunged at Mark. Meredith tried to get him off of Mark but her force was no good.

"DEREK!" She cried. She pulled his t-shirt so that he would get up. They both did, Mark wiped his lip and panted heavily as did Derek.

"Get out. Now." Meredith threatened, helping Mark to his feet. "Of my life, of his and of this house. Just leave."

"Gladly."

**A/N: HERE YOU GO! FIRST CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEEW. Sofia**


	2. Chapter 2

_"Get out. Now. Of my life, of his and of this house."_THOSE words were ringing in Derek's ears like a mind game that he was forced to play. It stung him so hard and the pain he was feeling right now wasn't something he would want to experience in the days to come.

_"Get out. Now. Of my life, of his and of this house." _

He wanted her to be happy more than anything, after all she's been through, that was what she deserved but he always pictured himself giving her the happily ever after she's always wanted. Not Mark Sloan, the infamous manwhore of New York.

He hardly talked to her, but he would see the signs. Maybe they were growing apart, that was all. He saw the spark in Mark's eyes, when he defended Meredith like that. It was the same thing others claimed to see in him when he was with Meredith. It couldn't be....

_"Get out. Now. Of my life, of his and of this house." _

Being out of her life meant that she was out of his. He couldn't stand that. She was his world and now, pride wouldn't let him apologize and try to fix things.

There was always the morning, right? He still had another chance with her. Just wait for her, and not push her. He had heard some wise words before: He was a better person than Mark would ever be but Mark was better at mending hearts.

Their friendship was over the day he found Mark in bed with Addison but they had tried to rebuild it. He wondered why Meredith would go to Mark. Relief, perhaps? Or because of a real connection between the two people.

No worries. There was always the morning right?

Derek noticed Alex and Izzie get off the elevator. Izzie offered him a polite smile and Alex didn't even acknowledge his presence. He wondered if the knew about Mark and Meredith, he seriously doubted it because it would have spread by then. He ignored the pair because they were a constant reminder of Meredith.

In fact, everything in this hospital was a reminder of Meredith. Her friends, her scary resident, those elevators, that exam room, and much much more.

Derek headed off to his office, trying to find a case which would get his mind off of the blonde resident. Good luck with that.

________________________________________________________

"He was weird." Alex chuckled. Izzie playfully hit his arm.

"Be nice."

"No, I'm just saying. That's not what you suspect from a famous surgeon who probably would get more famous by tomorrow."

"Hmm. Yeah, but it's not your business. Just ignore it Alex." Izzie scolded.

"Fine, fine."

__________________________________________________________

"Are you sure you're okay?" Meredith asked once more.

"Yes Mer. I'm a doctor too you know." He chuckled.

"Yeah, but I'm just worried. That's all."

"Don't worry, I won't get less sexier just because of a bruise on my face." He laughed.

"Well then, thank god. I thought I would have to leave you because of course, looks are everything right?"

"Exactly. You could be the brains of this relationship."

"Funny." Meredith said in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm just messing with you." He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, he kissed her lightly on the lips and smiled. "You're adorable when your pissed, you know that?"

"Ain't I adorable all the time?"

"Who's cocky now, huh?" He laughed.

"Scared you have competition?"

"Me? Never." He kissed her once more and she kindly obliged. She opened her mouth slowly to grant him entrance. She pulled away and elicited a moan.

"You like that?" He teased, nipping at her neck causing her to gasp. She pushed her knee against his manhood. He growled.

"Not as much as you like that." She smirked. She straddled his hips and kissed him harder and faster. He did the same with even more passion.

His eyes burned with lust and desire. If he could have it his way, he would have done her right then but he respected to wait for her call.

Ding-dong.

Mark groaned. Meredith laughed at his horny actions.

"Mer?" Alex shouted.

"I'm up here!" She replied.

"Great, we'll come up there?" Izzie said. Mark shook his head no. He didn't want them to find out like this.

"Uhh. No! I'll just come down, I've got to tell you guys something."

"Kay"

They both descended the stairs slowly. Both Izzie and Alex were rendered speechless when they saw Meredith's companion. They never thought that she would go that far. They knew that she had a thing for him and vice versa but they didn't know that they had finally got together.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Izzie blurted out. Meredith spit out the water she was previously drinking.

"Of course not!" Meredith and Mark shouted. They were suprised by Izzie's spontaneous accusation.

"I got in big trouble today." She started slowly.

"Yeah and?" Alex didn't like where this was going.

"I got fired."

"WHAT?!" Izzie exclaimed.

"You heard me... I got fired." Meredith repeated, her voice already quivering.

"How did that happen?" Alex said, an expression of disbelief on his face.

"I lied okay? I did a second surgery, risking both mine and Derek's career." Meredith said, ashamed. She felt irresponsible and careless and all she wanted was for that intense feeing to go away.

"So? Sorry Iz, but cutting a LVAD wire is worse. So why now?" Alex asked curiously. He looked over at his friend and frowned. He couldn't believe that something like this was happening to his own friends.

"Apparently, it was the hospital board watching over clinical trials. So put two and two together, you get four." She stated. Alex looked away from her and just stared into space. Izzie was the first one to break the awkward silence.

"So Mark?" Izzie said, tears starting to brim her eyes.

"Yeah, he offered to take me to New York for a couple of months." She looked up at Mark and smiled gratefully at him.

"When--when are you leaving?" Alex asked, still slightly speechless.

"We booked a flight out tomorrow." Mark said, rubbing Meredith's back softly. He knew how hard this was for her, but he didn't know how to help her. That was what hurt him the most.

"That soon?"

"Sorry, there was nothing we could do, Alex."

"How could you be so stupid?" Alex said raising his voice. Mark glared at him and Meredith refused to look him in the eye.

"Alex!" Izzy hissed.

"No, I'm serious! You know by experience that just because you love someone can't mean that you'd risk everything!"

"What the hell do you mean?" Meredith glared.

"You did this all do impress Derek right! Ever think of the people who would be affected?!"

"Don't you dare Alex. I didn't even do this for Derek! I did this to save lives. I can't even look at you right now." Meredith exclaimed, raising her hands in the air. Izzie and Mark shot him death glares, as if to tell him to shut up. Unfortunately, Alex didn't get the idea.

"It was a selfish decision." He said, instantly regretting.

"So now doing my job is selfish? Saving lives is selfish? I guess that makes all of us now, huh?" She said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean Meredith. Don't try to twist this around." He snapped right back.

"How the hell am I twisting this Alex?! I'm telling the truth. You don't have an idea what went on between these patients. Because they were MINE. This was MY clinical trial. This was MY choice." She sighed. "You know what? You're a jackass." Meredith said, storming up to her room. Izzie glared at Alex and all he could do was slide back down in his seat. He knew she had a point but he let the rage overthrow his conscience.

"Don't you EVER talk to her like that again, you hear me Karev?" Mark growled.

"This is my home, my life. You can't control me outside the hospital. You know that right?" He rolled his eyes. He was so close to getting Mark's fist into his face but he couldn't help but snap.

Mark banged his fist on the table, Izzie shook with fear."You don't ever talk to her like that. Not because I said so, but because she's your friend and she deserves respect." He glared. "She deserves for you to at least give her some sympathy! She's right, you have no idea what went on in that room. She made the wrong decision. So what? We all make tremendous mistakes. Mistakes that can hurt other people too. But she has enough weight on her shoulders, she doesn't need the man who she calls one of her best friend adding to that." With one last look, Mark went up the stairs to comfort Meredith.

"Apologize. Now." Izzie demanded.

"For what? Telling the truth?"

"Alex."

"You're not my mom. And Sloan definitely isn't my dad."

"But Mer is your friend. You're her big brother." She said quietly. "She trusts you, Alex. She's having a hard time right now. And you certainly shouldn't have said all those things about Derek. You don't know why she decided on doing the clinical trial."

Alex remained silent.

"Fine. I'm going to go up there, just check on her. Try and cool off okay?"

He never did reply.

_____________________________________________________________

"Hey." Izzie whispered to nobody in particular.

"Hey Izz." Meredith said, trying to smile.

"You doing okay?"

"You know the answer to that." Meredith said rolling her eyes. She patted down the corner of the bed, signaling for her to sit down.

"Eww. You had sex with Mark in this bed!" Izzie exclaimed. Meredith just laughed.

"You think we were what? Reading a book?" She laughed, Izzie sat down on the bed anyway though cringing once she did.

"Yeah. I guess so. You know you can tell me anything right?"

"Yes. What do you mean though?"

"Nothing. It's just that, we aren't as close as you are to Christina. She's your person after all." Izzie frowned. Christina and Meredith's closeness made her feel like an outsider, she was somehow jealous because what she had with George was nothing compared to what Meredith had with Christina.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I like you less, Izz."

"I just assumed."

"I don't blame you though. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like you were for me." Meredih said sadly. Her eyes brimmed with tears, she wasn't sure how she was going to survive without Izzie's positivity in her life. She was going to miss her, a lot.

"Having you as a friend was good enough."

"I'll miss you. A lot. From your smile, to your cooking even to the smell of your shampoo." Meredith giggled.

"You too. Lavender right? It reminds me of my daughter." She smiled.

"Glad to be some use."

"You were one of the best friend I could ever ask for. Don't think otherwise, Mer."

"I won't if you won't." She smiled.

"Promise."

"Promise." Meredith replied and pulled Izzie in for a hug.

"It's going to suck so much without you, you know that?" Izzie whimpered.

"Of course it is." Meredith laughed.

"Mark seems to be rubbing off on you." She teased.

"I guess." Meredith said silently.

"Hey now, Derek has no right to get mad. He was the one that decided to date other people, right?"

"Yeah, but Mark... He's different and I can't help feel that he might just up and leave sometime soon." Meredith worried.

"Mer... Don't say that okay? I can see that he likes you a lot and thats something coming from him."

"You think?"

"I know." Izzie smiled as she squeezed her arm. "I'll get going. You better get some sleep."

"Yeah mom." Meredith joked.

____________________________________________________________________________

Izzie headed over to Alex. She noticed Mark staring at on picture in particular, one with Meredith's face was glowing. She could see the corners of his lips curl upwards into a smile. She smiled, it was no doubt, Mark Sloan was whipped.

"ALEX" She hissed. He was startled.

"What?!"

"Get up there. Apologize. Say goodbye. I don't care, just as long as you two are okay before she leaves."

"Why can't she apologize?"

"Cause she's having a hard time."

"Ain't I entitled to having a hard time too? The thing with Ava?" He glared. Izzie felt like he had slapped her across the face but she knew that he wasn't meaning to insult her.

"Why are you so stubborn?! She's our friend. You did something worse, you accused her for something she didn't even do." Izzie said. She had a point and she knew it, Alex knew that he should do something to fix this... argument, but he wasn't sure how. He wasn't sure he could handle losing a friend and admitting that he was wrong.

"How do you know that she's not lying?" He said sarcastically. "For all you know she did start the clinical trial just to get close to Derek again." Alex immediately regretted opening his mouth. Izzie glared at him angrily.

"How do you know she IS lying?"

"Ughh."

"Please Alex. Please. Please. Please. She's leaving and we have no idea when she's coming back. Don't you want it to be on good accounts?"

"I guess."

"So apologize."

"Fine." He whined. He stomped upstairs and waited in front of the door. He noticed Meredith packing her things in her large suitcase, but not with out seeing the tears falling down her face.

He reluctantly walked inside and held her arm. She looked up at him and her expression had not changed. He then hugged her tightly and she returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that." Alex said, letting go of her.

"It's okay. I understand."

"Yeah, I was really mad. I couldn't stand that I had to lose another friend. You know that right?"

"Yes. I know exactly how that feels. Believe me, you weren't the first one."

"You don't deserve this." He said looking into her eyes.

"People get what they deserve?" She said quite bitterly.

"Just because it doesn't always happen doesn't mean it won't."

"What are the chances of it happening to me?"

"A lot Mer, you survived a bomb. You almost drowned, but yet your still alive and breathing. You survived Derek and all his dramas. You survived Izzie and her incredible baking." He laughed. "And you're going to keep on surviving."

"Did you get what you deserved?"

"Yeah. To make up for everything, now I have a family I've never had before. I have people who I can rely on and show my real self to, Mer. I have Christina, George, Izzie, and you. That is enough to make up for the crap I've been through."

Meredith was speechless "I got you don't I?"

"You still do, Mer." He smiled.

"I'll always be there too."

"If asses need kicking, you know where to find me." He half-joked. Meredith giggled.

"Yeah Alex."

"Love you." He said giving her one last hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"Love you too, Lex." She said hugging him back. He headed towards the door, but he turned back quickly.

"Hey Mer. You know what makes me love you guys and hate you at the same time?"

"What Alex?"

"I swore myself that I wouldn't get close to anyone because I know that it will always end in tears. But I got close to you guys, you made me lower down my guard and become the most vulnerable I've ever been in my life. But no matter what I will always love you guys. I can't see myself anywhere without you, Iz, Christina and even George."

"Thanks Alex." She smiled.

___________________________

Alex headed downstairs. He saw Mark on the coach looking into space.

"You love her don't you?" He asked bluntly.

"Don't you?" Mark answered.

"That's different. You know that."

"It's hard not to love her."

"I know how you feel. She's incredibly stubborn and headstrong, but her laugh will make you all giddy."

"Yeah. Everytime I see her... she's indescribable." He mumbled.

"Just..."

"Don't leave her? That's what everyone is telling me."

"No, I meant don't assume around her. You never know what she'll want. Her feelings change in an instant. Don't assume, ask first. And I want to contradict to what those idiots have been saying, if your bad for her. If you know she'll be better off. IF SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU THERE, I want you to get the hell away from her. Move to Alaska for all I care."

"Wow. Thanks. That's really comforting."

"You're welcome." Alex laughed.

__________________________________

He headed up to her room and sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair. He laid down beside the tiny sleeping figure and snaked his arms around her waist. He had never ever felt so comfortable with a woman in his life like he did right now with Meredith.

Maybe things were meant to be unperfect. Maybe things didn't always go as planned. Maybe things would turn out to be the right thing.

Life wasn't in anyway perfect and yet, he felt things were. He thought about how unperfect they met. She was just a girl in the bar, and he a guy in the bar. They were impossibly drunk but they managed to have the best sex in Mark Sloan's life.

"Mmmm." Meredith stirred, turning to face him. She laid her head on his chest and went back to sleep. He put his head in her hair and inhaled her beautiful scent of lavender.

"I think I'm falling in love with you Meredith Grey."

**second chapter! please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

"Mer?" He said tapping her lightly.

Meredith muffled a yawn but managed to get up.

"What time is it?"

"4:30" Mark said softly, smiling at her.

"What time is our flight?"

"8"

"Sorry. We'll probably get there at 7 at this rate."

"S'okay. Take all the time you need Mer."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"No problem." He said giving her a quick hug. "You pack all the stuff you need?"

"Yeah, just a little more then I'm done."

"Have you called Christina? George?"

"Not yet... I wanted to tell them in person. This isn't something you can tell them on the phone, you know?" She snapped.

"I know, I know but wouldn't you want to give them a heads up?"

"Was I given a heads up?" She said bitterly.

"I'm sorry. Forget I asked then." He said throwing his hands up in the air.

"I'm sorry, Mark. It's just hard."

"But are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She said.

"Fine isn't a word with you Meredith." He pushed.

"How do you expect that I'm fine?? I just got fired from my job, I might never see my friends again, I'm leaving the place I spent my life in, all because of one simple choice. So I want to think I'm fine, even if I'm not, it's easier for me and for everyone else." She snapped.

"Not for me, Mer."

"What? You like seeing me all gloomy and depressed?"

"Of course not. It's not easier for me to help you, Mer! If you just keep on hiding and avoiding, how will you survive?"

"Maybe I don't need your help Mark!"

"Maybe you don't, but I need to help you!"

"Why?!"

"Because I care about you, Meredith. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. It hurts so much just seeing you in this amount of pain. That's why I want to help you as much as I can." He said softly, caressing her cheek. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and into the palm of his hand. He slowly brushed it away and pulled her closer. "It so hard knowing that you're hurting and I'm not able to help."

"It's not easy.... it's not easy trusting someone after you were screwed over one too many times." Meredith sighed.

"I know, I'm not asking for your trust right now, I'm asking if you could just have a little faith in me."

"Okay. I could try to do that I guess."

"I'll be here okay?"

"Yeah." She said quietly. "I have to go" She said quickly. She left the room and headed downstairs to look for Izzie.

"Izz?" She said, she noticed the beautiful blonde cooking pancakes at the kitchen.

"Morning Mer. Strawberry pancakes?" Izzie managed a smile.

"Sure. Where's Alex?"

"He said he'll meet us at the hospital. He had to finish some of his charts."

"He didn't want to see me didn't he?" She quivered, catching Izzie's lie.

"He's doing his best, Mer."

"We all are at one point right?" She said bitterly.

"Don't think he doesn't love you Mer! He does, a lot. He just doesn't know how to deal yet."

"Yeah. We better get going after breakfast." She said softly. She sat down on the counter and started eating the pancakes. She continued to play with her last piece of fruit until Mark came down, already dressed.

"Morning Stevens."

"Hey." She smiled politely and left to leave the couple alone.

"I'm sorry for this morning." Mark said. "I just... it's asking a lot I know."

"No it's not. I would have asked the same thing, don't blame yourself Mark."

"Thanks. For the effort." He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead tenderly. She smiled up at him.

"Did you just help me so that I could be your wingman to pick up the ladies?"

"A chick to pick up chicks? Hasn't crossed my mind." He smiled.

The truth was, he hasn't looked at any other girl the same way again.

"Please tell me everyone is lying." An angry asian surgeon shouted.

"I guess you know."

"Stupid idiots and what they do for surgery." She winced.

"I'll miss you, you know?"

"You better. That still doesn't make up for your incompetent decisions!" Christina exclaimed.

"Are you mad?"

"Furious. Absolutely furious."

"I love you, bitch."

"I love you, whore." Christina smiled weakly. "It's not going to be the same without you, you know that right?"

"Just promise me, you'll try, okay? Don't wallow."

"Meredith, wallowing is what we do best. You wallowed for Derek, Alex for Ava, Izzie for Denny, Me for Burke, George for.... probably for the death of some turkey or something, but seriously, we wallow. Don't expect us not to."

"I'm just asking you to try, Cris."

"I'll try. Don't count on me to succeed though."

"I know you will."

"Why are you so stubborn, bitch?"

"It's what God made me. I guess." Meredith smiled.

"Then damn god."

"I better talk to George." Meredith sighed.

"Fine. Go." She said quietly. "Just..."

"Just what?" Meredith said.

"Don't be stupid okay?" Christina smiled.

"I wouldn't be Meredith if I wasn't!" She laughed.

Meredith hugged her friend tightly. Sighing, she let a tear fall from her eyes. Losing her person was like losing her sister and she didn't know how she would suvive in New York without them. She let go, noticing a stray tear on Christina's cheek. She knew her person was trying her best not to cry, out of pride maybe, but it didn't really matter.

"George!" She said running towards her friend with open arms.

"Good morning." He smiled politely. "How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Good." He said awkwardly.

"I'm going to miss you. That's all I've got to say."

"Me too... Listen, I know this is a horrible time, but I was planning on asking you something."

"fire away" Meredith said, swinging her arms back and forth.

"I was planning on asking.... Lexie out. Would that be okay with you?" He asked nervously.

"Go ahead George. You're perfect for each other." Meredith smiled. "Take care of her!"

"I'll try." He smiled weakly.

"Oh my god. I'll miss you so much, George." She sighed. "I wish I could have stayed."

"I wish that too, Mer. I'll come visit you, okay? We'll keep in touch."

"Don't ever forget me George O'Malley."

"Don't you ever forget me Meredith Grey." He smiled.

_______________________________________________________________

"I'll personally kick your ass if you hurt her."

"Excuse me?" Mark said, amused.

"I'll chop off your 'manly' parts if you make her cry." Christina repeated.

"Thanks for the warning." He chuckled.

"Why are you finding this funny?!"

"You of all people should know!" He said.

"Know what?!"

"You don't actually know, do you?" Mark smirked.

"No! That's why I'm asking you, idiot!"

"She could hurt me in a minute! You know I'll always be second to Derek! I'm much more vulnerable then her. You don't see that?"

"Then why'd you get with her anyways? If you knew that Derek will beat you to her?"

"Wow. Thanks." He said sarcastically. "I don't know. We started off casual."

"That's how it always does." she said rolling her eyes.

"I really don't know, Yang. She's got something. She's got something that captivates me." He smiled.

"This is going to be real hard for Mer." She said.

"What?"

"Having her attending in love with her. Again. Do you know how teased she'll be in New York."

"What?"

"Don't look stupid Sloan. You're in love with her, everone can see it."

"See what?!"

"That you're in love with her, you're an idiot. Try not to follow Shepherd."

"What does that mean?"

"Don't..."

"Don't what?" He said, already frustrated.

"If I have to listen to her whine about another attending breaking her heart. I swear to God. I will punch the living daylights out of you."

"Point taken."

A/N. Not the best chapter that I have written. Please bear, encounter with Derek is coming up soon. I would really appreciate reviews!


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